The past week around Christmas and New Year have been tough. Struggling to cope with a feeling of indifference. It’s not that i don’t want to care, but i just don’t. I know that my flippant comments toward people are usually making fun of them, but usually I’m careful not to offend.
The problem is that when i don’t care, I don’t care if I offend.
The usual jest and humor have been replaced with cutting remarks, delivered by a straight face, and not even feeling like it’s something that i shouldn’t be saying. I was almost enjoying being an arsehole.
I also felt like i was more prone to taking risks. I usually drive fairly safely, or at least within what i think is within my skill level. During the many runs around Melbourne during the house move, doing 80-90km/h in 50-60km/h zones felt normal, and doing the speed limit almost seemed like a crawl.
I know it’s been especially hard for my girlfriend, having to put up with me, when it would almost seem I’m not interested at all in her company or affection.
This week i feel like I’ve settled down, and everything is returning to focus. I haven’t had a blow up, even when i lost the remote to the garage in the car.
I’ve started to feel like myself again.
