It’s been a long time between drinks

I’m smashing this out while it’s in my head, and the laptop is about to run flat, it won’t be proof read.

Today feels like a total return back to the start of the year. i fucking exploded in the car, everything pissed me off. Put the slightest pressure on me, and i lose it. I actually *feel* really unhappy.

Don’t know whether it’s the extra stress going on at the moment, or something else, but i feel like i’m balancing on knife edge.

I’m totally off meds, have been for a long time, but fuck, right now, i’m ready to destroy things. After spending so many years being constantly stressed 24/7 (those who know me well will know exactly why), now being under pressure for a few weeks totally sets me off.

Tonight, i totally fucked off C. and went home so i could relax, have a beer, try and work on tunes.

I got home, my brain melted, tried playing PS3, and ended up writing.

Something has got to give.